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Joke of the Day
"I saw a sign at a drug rehab center It said ""Keep off the grass"""
Next Joke
"GENIE: you have three wishes. ME: sweet, I wish for pie. GENIE: okay, whatever, you have 3.14 wishes."
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
"What's the difference in a dog, some meat, and a blow job? You can beat your dog, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job."
"Apple announced a breast implant that plays music... The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them."
"It's the 20th anniversary of Infinite Jest and the 6th anniversary of my buying Infinite Jest and never getting around to reading it."
"A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says, ""A beer please, and one for the road!"""
"We all say tomato. There is no alternate pronunciation."
"Sir, your wife was stabbed ten times, but the missing piece is the murder weapon. So far we have nothing, Mr *checks notes* Scissorhands."
"No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face."