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Joke of the Day

"yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I'm Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof"

"The other day I was mocking my wife, ""Why do you wear a bra? You've got nothing to put in it.""...... Fucking bitch replied, ""You wear briefs, don't you?"""

"I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg I said to him: ""I bet I know what your favourite holiday is."" He said: ""You've got to love Easter, baby."""

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle ? Somebody took a corner !"

"Chuck Norris can speak braille."

"What do you call.... nuts on the wall? Walnuts. nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. nuts on your chin? Chinnuts? No! A dick in your mouth."

"Hitting on a girl at a bar.... She keeps telling me ""Dan, I'm bisexual, I'm bisexual."" I say ""That's great. I buy sex too. How much?"""

"Mean people tell me ""you've got a face only a mother could love"" but the joke's on them because she didn't"

"The mail slot on your door is so you can tell the mailman you love him"

"That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg."