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Joke of the Day

"The other day I was mocking my wife, ""Why do you wear a bra? You've got nothing to put in it.""...... Fucking bitch replied, ""You wear briefs, don't you?"""

"Reddit is like a shiny new penny... It's fun to look at but completely worthless"

"My wife came out to me after for horrible years of marriage and revealed she was a lesbian and that she wished she'd married another woman Which finally gave us something in common."

"""You know how I realized I had such a great butt?"" Because every time I would walk away after meeting a group of ladies I could hear them say, "" what an ass"""

"If Jesus was hangin out at the WTC in the 21st century.. Would he have been killed by Pontius Pilot?"

"Lazy is a strong word. I prefer to say that the stars are reaching for me"

"DON'T TELL ME THAT PLANTS MAKING THEIR OWN FOOD ISNT AMAZING. THATS LIKE YOU GOING TO TACO BELL BUT THE TACOS WERE INSIDE YOU THE WHOLE TIME"

"Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives? Crimea River"

"Just once in my life... ...I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my dick is."

"I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one."