8703

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris can speak braille."

"[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would"

"If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world."

"""she's too good for him"" ""he doesn't deserve her"" ""she should be with me"" ""I need a good girl like that"" --me looking at other people's dogs"

"Stinky Bathroom... Know why my bathroom doesn't stink? I exhaust fan the shit out of it."

"I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like."

"In the future, people won't ask for a cup of sugar... Instead, they'll ask for a gigabyte of sug.rar"

"What's the difference between your mom and my computer? I can still turn your mom on."

"How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes."

"How did the mathematician treat his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."