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Joke of the Day

"Had a German plumber over today And he managed to plug our gas line to the shower. Guess old habits is hard to get out of Edit: spelling"

"The C in Closed is open... but the O in Open is closed"

"What has a 10 foot neck four legs and loves money. A Jewraffe"

"What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour? Leave it in the cow."

"In an interview: ""How would your friends describe you?"" Answer: ""perfect......"" (wait 5 seconds.) ""this fucking question again! I don't have any god damn friends!"" I'll show myself out"

"I've said it before, I'll say it again. It."

"Short, but good nonetheless A midget philanthropist"

"I will climb the highest mountain. Swim the deepest sea. I will cross the desert land. I would do anything to get the fcuk away from you."

"I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov He said, ""I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."""

"[OC] I found a dead bird outside. It smelt fowl."