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Joke of the Day

"I used to get my dad so angry as a kid. I knew that once he took that belt off there was nothing i could do... to keep him from shooting heroin"

"Bought a cheese grater for a blind friend... He said it was the most violent book he's ever read."

"Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time."

"What department store is named after the things jews hate the most and love the most? JC Penney. ^I'm ^^going ^^^to ^^^^hell."

"Did you know Sasha Grey retired? It's fine though, at least she went out with a bang!"

"How do you know a girl is too young for you? When you have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth"

"Everytime I close my eyes, I think of you... 'cuz damn..It's sooo black just like you, nikah! --- I'm sorry..."

"As a kid, I didn't want to get caught misbehaving by my parents. Now I'm a parent. And I don`t want to get caught by my kids."

"What happened to the the Pentagon after the plane crash in 9/11? It turned into a hexagon."

"My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me."