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Joke of the Day

"Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off. Well, you can't blame them. They don't make much money, they just keep the tips."

"[boss's office] I'm tired of staff that think they know everything! Do you know what I mean, Murray? ""No, sir"" I like your style, Murray."

"Save some a's for the rest of us, Aarons."

"I like my Coffee how i like my women Hot."

"Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers."

"What do you call an empty jar of cheez whiz? Sheez was!"

"remember blowing bubbles as a kid? good. you should call him, he misses you."

"Shout out to people that do not know what the opposite of in is!"

"23rd Century Scientist: We're sending you to 1889 to kill baby Hitler. Four words: Stick. To. The. Mission. Henry Ford: Yes, sir."