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Joke of the Day

"Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal."

Next Joke
 
"Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted"
"What's the opposite of the word uncle-off-her? It's an aunt-*on*-him."
"-I got you a birthday present... ...but I can't give it to you until tomorrow. -What is it? -It rhymes with 'Something to get drunk with'."
"Diarrhoea runs in my jeans"
"What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce."
"What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink? ""Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"""
"""We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack,"" I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available"
"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber"
"What did tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll hang around."
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