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Joke of the Day

"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my iPhone ...so you can shut the hell up about how scary D-Day at Normandy was, grandpa."

"A photon... Checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage to which the photon replies, ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""

"Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say ""Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"" You're welcome"

"Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want."

"Why is 6 scared of 7? Cause 7 is a six offender"

"""I don't like the taste of water."" - first world problem"

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"So a ""refugee"" walks into a bar... ...So a firefighter walks into the remains of a bar..."

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense."

"What's the best way to stop a runaway horse? Bet on it."