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Joke of the Day
"""I don't like the taste of water."" - first world problem"
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"Two elephants and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bud dum tss."
"What is the difference between a jew and a Christian There is no difference. I don't discriminate when I kill."
"Did you hear about the horny Asian janitor? First he wax on, then he wax off!"
"I'm at the point in my life where ""friend with benefits"" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons."
"The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating."
"A guy goes into a military surplus store... ..and asks the owner if he has any camouflage jackets. He says, ""I've got hundreds, but I can't find any of them!"""
"There once was a guy drawing blood... ...he used a pencillin."
"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""
"I want to meet the actors who get turned down to act in infomercials. Then I would ask them how their brother Alec Baldwin is doing."