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Joke of the Day

"what did they tell the eastern European tree who wanted a room at the hotel california you can czech in any time you want but you can never leaf"

"When life gives you lemons, Instagram photos of them and add #Lemons, #LemonSwag, and #UJealous."

"Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks."

"*Walks in late to dinner* I see fed people."

"Why did the chicken attend the seance? To get to the other side."

"What do you call a stoner with Down's Syndrome? A Baked Potato."

"reading a book about anti-gravity and its impossible to put down"

"24 men sucked off in Magaluf. 11 f*cked in Belo Horizonte."

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I suspect Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."

"If at first you don't succeed, fuck it. What's on TV?"