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Joke of the Day

"First the found ice on Mars and then they found water, now they just need to find whiskey to prove that 'Men are from Mars'."

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"Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot? ...because he was using too much fowl language"
"One night stand I'm not happy about my girlfriends one night stand. I'd really like somewhere to put my phone and spare change when we go to bed."
"{Date} ME: I have to warn you, I'm the jealous type WAITER: What would you folks like? HER: I'll have the s- ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!?"
"when i see lovers names carved in a tree... When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date."
"If a wife is silent and not arguing it means she's sleeping."
"Why did 7 8 9? ...Fuck"
"If time is money are ATM's time machines?"
"What do you call a hobosexual? A bum fuck."
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ... yeah that's the whole joke."
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