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Joke of the Day

"""If I weigh 400 pounds and can lift 600 pounds, shouldn't I be able to fly by lifting the chair I'm sitting in?"""

"The importance of commas ""Let's eat, grandpa!"" said the incestuous cannibal"

"What did the cow say under its breath? Utter."

"I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled ""fountain of youth"" right next to him."

"Watching WWII documentaries, it's always so heart wrenching when Poland is invaded and London is bombed by the Alt-Right."

"Today I broke my leg but it's going tibia okay"

"My Penis was in the Guinness world record book for the bigest penis Until the librarian told me to get it out."

"Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too."

"I taped a slice of bread on the ceiling. And that's how you start a rave party in Ethiopia."

"Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon"