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Joke of the Day

"My Penis was in the Guinness world record book for the bigest penis Until the librarian told me to get it out."

"Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper... I woke this morning with a huge correction."

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"How come Hitler never went to the movies? Because he could nazi!"

"What does a guy want more than anything in the world? It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first."

"Feed a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he kills you and steals your land."

"I'm Handsome If sex with three people is a threesome, and sex with two people is a twosome, it's no wonder people call me handsome."

"""Who are you wearing?"" -red carpet interviewer at the Serial Killer Awards"

"My IB Extended Essay is like a hot slut. I have to do it, and it sucks balls."

"The actual secret ingredient on most Iron Chefs is forehead sweat."