63924

Joke of the Day

"I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled ""fountain of youth"" right next to him."

"My own joke that I'm incredibly proud of: What kind of weather do Black Prince tomatoes grow best in? Purple Rain"

"You know you were a fat baby.., When the doctor had to get the jaws of life to remove you from your mother."

"Did you hear about the fat chick I fucked on the elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat... sooner or later you'll get pissed off."

"How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."

"Why the fuck did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays. Hahah get it? arrays(a raise?) No..? :("

"Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon? She would always let it go."

"Anybody know where I can get a Game of Thrones Valentine's day card? It's for my sister."

"Every day is a holiday if you love yelling."