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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill? One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment."

"Why David shorted his surname to Hoff? Because it was too much Hassel"

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?"

"Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold."

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field? ...because there are too many ears."

"Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK I'll come back in a year's time!"

"Ice cream van accidents are very rare... But unfortunately, they always result in the loss of hundreds and thousands."

"What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection? ""Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"""