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Joke of the Day

"If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine"

"Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen. Kitchen has the food, guys"

"If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony."

"I like the religions where they're like ""god left after he made earth."" that's exactly what I would do if i created this mess."

"Chuck norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it."

"Why aren't there any mexicans in the Olympics? Cuz all that can run, jump or swim have got their ass over here."

"If con is the opposite of pro... It must mean congress is the opposite of progress."

"I just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just asking it the wrong questions."

"What is the difference between pink and purple? The grip."

"What did the sign on the whore house door say? Beat it, we're closed."