209449

Joke of the Day

"what do you call a crappy sock puppet? sock pooppet"

"A cute girl with brilliance is the best thing in the world that doesn't have cheese on it Wait couldn't I just put the che Mother of god"

"Calling in sick to work... Me: Im not gonna be able to make it to work today bossman I'm sick Boss: You don't sound sick...? Me: Well, I'm fucking my sister, IS THAT SICK ENOUGH FOR YOU"

"I hate it when homeless shake their cups with change in them I know you have more money than me, stop showing off."

"The one huge advantage of being dumb ... you never overthink things."

"No YOU'RE the stalker. (I write on your work bathroom mirror in blood)"

"What's the definition of vagina? The box a penis comes in ;)"

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He has loco motives."

"Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends."

"My girlfriend found lipstick on my collar and thought I was cheating on her so now I only let my collar wear makeup when she's out of town."