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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone? Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone."

"I'm ready to be a father now that I've successfully fed a goldfish for a week-he's so happy, he's relaxing & floating on his back...wait..."

"*tweet gets 3 rts* please no autographs"

"What do the Catholic Church and a bucket of shit have in common? Neither supports gay marriage."

"How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend? He has two clean fingers."

"I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit."

"How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend? Marriage, you wanna?"

"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"

"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."

"What's a Hitler Youth's favorite video game? Meincraft"