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Joke of the Day

"Who would win a knife fight between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton? Everyone!"

"How does a deaf and dumb tell a secret to another one? He wears mittens."

"I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how's your day going?"

"It's funny how trusting of bartenders we are. I wouldn't let my life-long best friend hold my credit card for four hours while I was getting bombed."

"Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread."

"Which award did the knoc knock joke get? The nobel prize."

"Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD"

"What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg"

"I just donated money to help create water reservoirs for families in need. It was money well spent!"

"Great Britains new Prime Minister Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!"