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Joke of the Day

"Did you see the story about the psychic dwarf escaping prison? The headline was ""Small medium at large""."

"What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !"

"The good news is, Tony Abbott says Australia may have spotted two pieces of the plane. The bad news is, Tony Abbott says a lot of things."

"Why do Ethiopians have fly swatters? To hunt for their food."

"I just picked a Chapstick up from my bedside table, spent 30 seconds trying to get the lid off with my teeth, then realized it was a battery"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a registered sex offender."

"Date - ""so...are you going to be doing that for the whole date?"" [i can't hear her over my tuba]"

"So Batman is flying around metropolis looking for crime when... Superman walks up and is all like, ""hey motherfucker, what the fuck?"" Sorry, it's Halloween. ;)"

"I just found out my girlfriend has been cheating on my with my dad.... Can't belive I'm going to be an uncle."

"What's the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence."