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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere in another dimension there is a Lingerie store called Victoria Secretes where all the panties already come with discharge on them"

"Two cows are grazing in a field... One turns to the other and asks ""Have you heard all this talk of mad cow disease?"" The other replies ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter"""

"What does a ghost get when he is horny? A booner"

"""Whoever smeal it, dealt it""... ""...so technically officer, this is YOUR marijuana"""

"What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer."

"My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn't want to Go ahead. Have kids"

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off."

"Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dre"

"Today at 8:24 PM it will be 7/16/15 8:24. That is the only time this year such a thing will happen"

"Why are programmers so consumeristic? Because they're object oriented."