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Joke of the Day

"Two cows are grazing in a field... One turns to the other and asks ""Have you heard all this talk of mad cow disease?"" The other replies ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter"""

"Schrodinger: How's my cat, Doc? Vet: I have good news and bad news.."

"What is the wettest animal in the world? A Rain Deer."

"My co worker is so mad at me right now her eyes are bulging out like a pug. I don't know wether to call 911 or scratch her behind the ears."

"Some French words have silent t's, like ""ballet"" and ""tbonjour"""

"Why does Wall Street call Hillary ""Hillary Vuitton"" instead of ""Hillary Clinton"" ? Because they know she's in the bag ..."

"I like my women like I like my doctors Always asking me to take my clothes off whenever I see them."

"What do you call really clear urine? 1080p"

"So there are these pants that have padding to make ones butt appear larger... ...it's anal-lusion!"

"What's the difference between a drummer in a rock'n'roll band and an extra large pizza? The extra large pizza can feed a family of four."