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Joke of the Day

"This lady just said she's naming her baby Nevaeh b/c its Heaven spelled backwards. I said, just name her what she's going to end up being. Tulsa."

"One man's girlfriend is another man's Twitter password."

"What do you call a brewer's first beer? A rough draft."

"What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family."

"What do you see when a Native American Princess pokes a space smuggler in the chest? Pocahontas pokin' Hans tits"

"The Irishman's dilemma. Do you eat the potatoes now or do you let them ferment so you can drink them later?"

"*friend gets divorced Mon* *friend goes on date Tues* *I break up with boyfriend* *15 years later I casually smile back at a stranger*"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street... ...one was a salted."

"Take a trip to Japan and wash away your worries!"

"[Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap."