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Joke of the Day
"Two peanuts were walking down the street... ...one was a salted."
Next Joke
"What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police? A small medium at large."
"What is the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."
"The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar... It was tense."
"I'm at work for another hour and my phone's at 14%. If I don't make it to the end of the day, tell all my friends, ""Not much u"""
"What's less funny than /r/Funny? /r/Jokes"
"if u watch snowfall backwarbds, its abot the ground disolving into the sky to reveal the complex world it was hiding beneath it"
"COP: [flashes his light into my car] ME: *struggles to roll down window* ""Sorry this isn't my car."""
"Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions"
"""I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night."" ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife."""