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Joke of the Day

"Saw a hitchhiker holding a sign Anywhere But Here' So I swerved, hit him. Now he's in a ditch. Hope that's ok, he wasn't really specific."

"Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention."

"Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering... Yes, I forgot our anniversary again."

"What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is a little heavier and the other is a little lighter."

"No I didn't want a receipt but now that you've asked me I'm suspicious, so yes, I will have that receipt now please."

"Why are batman and black man different? Bat man can go a whole night without robin"

"I don't watch World Cup soccer. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar."

"If To Catch a Predator was a TLC show it would have ended with Chris Hanson getting caught by himself"

"My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her ""you're eating turkey like everyone else""."

"Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often"