41010

Joke of the Day

"My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her ""you're eating turkey like everyone else""."

"A guy told me this one in class today.... What do you call 2 White Russians and a Jager bomb? A Boston Marathon."

"What do men and slurpees have in common? If you don't suck them fast enough they lose their shape."

"I've seen in war movies where women have to smother their crying babies to get them to be quiet so how come never on an airplane?"

"There Once Was A Poet Named Bates, His poems weren't always first rate, His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had, Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line."

"Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers"

"I've got a fungal skin infection It was a little itchy at the start, but now it's really growing on me."

"What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed? High definition"

"I just spent several seconds trying unsuccessfully to delete a comma. Turns out somebody sneezed it onto the computer screen."

"A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe walk into a bar The bartender asks what they're having. The witch replies ""Narnia business."""