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Joke of the Day

"the bottom half of my legs are really interesting they're knee-toe"

"Did you hear about the suicide bombing camp? I heard it was a blast."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"I start undressing you with my eyes. About halfway through, your zipper gets caught on my cornea and I start screaming in agony."

"What do you call the underground slave trade? The black market."

"It took years for my gf to get me to put down the toilet seat. Though, I really don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place."

"[NSFW] What do they say after intercourse in Alabama? ""Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my smokes!"""

"[1st date] Me: don't let him know you're a lobster Him: we should check out my hot-tub later Me: 'yeah...sure' *nervously clicks claws*"

"What is a pirates favorite firework? M80"

"Why did Obama get two terms? Because black men always get a longer sentence"