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Joke of the Day

"I start undressing you with my eyes. About halfway through, your zipper gets caught on my cornea and I start screaming in agony."

"Engineers are sexual intellectuals or in other words... Fucking know-it-alls"

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera."

"A Fat Frog walks into a bar Walks up to the barman and the barman says, ""hey, we've got a drink named after you"". Fat Frog says ""What?, You've got a drink called Steve?"""

"The best way to dry off a wet baby is to leave him in a jar of rice overnight."

"So I blew positive for alcohol today and got arrested... Positive is my neighbor's dog's name"

"What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis? Bob."

"Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person"

"What do you call the runs in space? The floats"

"Old, but gold A woman goes to the market. She says to the greengrocer: ""I would like to purchase a cucumber"" The vendor answers: ""Buy two, so you can eat one"""