191818

Joke of the Day

"In soviet Russia, shop boys pet you! You're welcome."

"If the bride tosses you the bouquet, how long are you allowed to beat her with it?"

"I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary... What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous ..."

"You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey.. That's just Hawaii roll."

"HI I SPIT GUM OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND IT BLEW BACK IN MY EAR 911: Sir, u need to pull over WHAT 911: Use your other ear, sir WHAT"

"I just waited on hold 47 minutes for a tech that sounds like he learned English from a Furby."

"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding. She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."

"If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, ""WITCH!"""

"Did you hear about Lorena Bobbitt's car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"I decided to sell my vacuum... It was just collecting dust."