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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see ""Closed for Winter""."

Next Joke
 
"What is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades"
"[during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?"
"My friend posted on Facebook: ""Spending the night in with my girl"" I couldn't help but chuckle, My Girl is a shit film."
"What do you call the richest person in the soup industry? A boullionaire"
"If your name is Susan, I surmise you're lazy. If your name is Tom, I posit you're a peeper. If your name is Jason, I automatically assume... YOU'RE A CUNT!!! NO! SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU, JASON!!!"
"Standup comedy is challenging because you have to succeed at competitively describing how unsuccessful you are in life."
"Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages."
"You guys ever seen a cockatoo? Yeah? I bet you have."
"If you ever get cold... Just stand in a corner. They're usually around 90 degrees!"