208677

Joke of the Day

"My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people's ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn't know fuck about shit."

Next Joke
 
"Just donated my body to science. I'm your problem now, science. And I could use some pizza and beer."
"I've got 0 problems... and math is one of them."
"Why do Avon ladies walk funny? ..because their lipstick"
"What I say: ""Does anyone need anything from the store?"" What I mean: ""I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."""
"What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral? Mourning Wood"
"What do you get when you order a JFK? An americano with an extra shot"
"Capture a raccoon & an octopus. Sit them on the couch. Give them snacks. Sit between them. Turn on the TV. Now you're ready to have kids."
"TIL You can't have a crusade without... USA"
"What's the best form of protection when you don't have a condom? A fake name"