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Joke of the Day

"Trying not to ask my blind roommate if he masturbated too much."

"What was Bruce lee's favorite drink? Wataaaaah!"

"""Hello Mr. Ress, how have you been?"" asked the psychologist. ""I feel as though people use me as something to fall back on."" he replied. ""And why do you think that is, Matt?"""

"With as much as Adobe nags me to update, I feel like I should have its surname and be making it sandwiches all the time."

"Pretty proud that after all these years I still have the body of a 22 yr old triathlete. In my storage shed."

"Why are so many Mathematicians vegetarians? Cos Lettuce"

"What did one triangle say to the other triangle about the square? Look out for that guy, he's got another side to him."

"Based on statistics The most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead."

"I was gonna make a joke about butts Butt fuck it."

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"