50197

Joke of the Day

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"

"Inlaws.. What is the difference between a inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."

"""What does the fox say?"" Whatever the Rupert Murdoch tells it to."

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds. (and then the female come-back): What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes!"

"What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell? ""Stop being shellfish!"" *drops microphone, walks away*"

"Careful...I've already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn't end well for you."

"What's Red and smells like Blue paint? Red paint."

"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library. I said ""Shit man, it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want!"""

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage."

"Don't do any jokes about Jesus this Easter.. He's not the guy you'd want to cross..."