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Joke of the Day

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"Father: What did the teacher think of your idea? Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really? what did she say? Son: Baa!"
"My doctor is so young that, when I need them, he just comes in the room shouting, ""Shots! Shots! Shots!"""
"""Did you hear? Lament's gettin' a Ph.D."" ""What does Ph.D. stand for?"" ""in his case Pin-headed Dope."""
"People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown."
"When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work"
"What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop."
"My dad came into my room the other night as I was getting ready for a date He sat me down, handed me a condom, looked me in the eyes and said, ""Son, don't make the same mistakes I did."""
"WIFE: I'm tired of you living in a fantasy world ME: *imagining she's Kate Upton* You always say that, Kate WIFE: Who is Kate? WHO IS KATE?"
"What do you call a homeless man? A Hobo Sapien."