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Joke of the Day

"What flavor gum does the President prefer? Governmint Ill walk myself to the nearest border"

"My first time... My first time having sex and playing football were a lot alike... When it was all said and done I was exhausted bruised and bloody... But atleast my dad came..."

"[boys at work talking sports] Them: what's your favorite sport Me: yeah"

"Another Sunday at Gym Church w/ Pastor Pumpz. We sang ""My Bod is an Awesome Bod"", ""Bod is Great Bod is Good"", and ""Be Thou My Protein"""

"What's a bounty hunter's favorite cheese? Fetta"

"Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip again Don't trip again Don't trip again Don't trip again - me running up the stairs"

"How can you tell if your horse is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Here Here Here Here Here Here Here -1 sided text conversation between me and my 18yo daughter because all I do is pick her up from places."

"Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors!"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil..."