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Joke of the Day

"Foreigner: I wanna know what love is.. Me: It's a feeling you get when.. Foreigner: I want you to show me.. Me: Ok, like wow. We just met"

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"Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents named him Sudden Lee."
"ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza WIFE: so you're not going to share ME: I am not going to share"
"[Job interview] ""Under ""skills"" you have odd compliments."" ""You look like you'd have soft bones. ""Thank you?"""
"A fire breaks out at a 70s themed party. The manager climbs the stage and says... Calm down, we don't want a Panic At the Disco! /r/panicatthedisco"
"What did the wall say the the other wall Meet you at the corner"
"So I ordered a sex toy online. It was so good, even the mail came."
"What does Andre 3000's menorah look like on the last day of Hanukkah? ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT"
"Two kittens are on a slanted roof, which one slides off first? The one with the least mew."
"What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims? House blend."