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Joke of the Day

"ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza WIFE: so you're not going to share ME: I am not going to share"

"I've been feeling so shitty this valentines day.. This cold I have is terrible!"

"What's 12 inches long and makes women scream at night? Cot death."

"You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started."

"When my wife wants my opinion, she'll give it to me."

"I named my dick Christmas Christmas came early"

"Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby? You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat"

"If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be."

"What do you call a popular joke on reddit a repost"

"An Irish man walks out of a bar... Not likely, but weirder things have happened."