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Joke of the Day

"Jesus walks into a hotel He hands the inn keeper 3 nails and asks, ""Could you put me up for the night?"" Credit to the movie ""The Crow"" Edit: I'm going to hell."

"After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate."

"Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out, after the break."

"Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Because the teacher said ""do your essay"""

"5yo: [crying] I teddy at home! He'll be sad that I abandoned them! Me: Want to call him & apologize? 5: You don't have his phone number."

"I'm like a kid in a candy store..... I can't afford anything."

"SpongeBob Wait, I just realised something. SpongeBob lives in bikini bottom, and he's absorbent: oh no..."

"Excuse me girlfriend for I have burped. It has been 3 weeks since my last apology"

"Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!"""

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... And the rest was made in China."