208421

Joke of the Day

"Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo"

"I'd like the chicken-fried steak, please."" Uh lemme get back to you *runs to kitchen* YO WE GOT ANY CHICKENS THAT KNOW HOW TO FRY A STEAK"

"One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!! I'll have sex with their boyfriends"

"If I ever opened a store that sold goats, I would call it Burlington Goat Factory"

"*nervously plays with tie* ""I'm sorry. I'm no good during job interviews."" That's ok, just let go of my tie and go on your side of the desk."

"Breaking News: Siamese twins sign for Man United."

"You're American when you go in to the bathroom, and American when you come out, but what are you while you're in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein')"

"What did the frog say when he walked into the bar? *Bonjour.*"

"Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie? It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle."

"This bathroom attendant is a little overzealous. I can shake ""it"" myself. Also, I am not in the bathroom."