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Joke of the Day
"What can give you life, but also kill you? Your father..."
Next Joke
"Let me know when you're off your Man-Period!!!"
"""Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?"" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then."
"6/6/14 Dear Diary - Today was really great. Got a job as an intern with the CIA and sent a cool tweet. 6/7/14 Dear Diary - Guantanamo sucks."
"Will no one rid me of this turbulent poodle?"
"NHK reported on the massive American erection yesterday... and apparently there will be a bigger one in two years."
"My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times."
"Avoiding the use of French-derived words... Is not my forte."
"Alzheimer's Joke (might be a repost)"
"""I have another terrible idea for a movie!"" - Tyler Perry, every morning."