4505

Joke of the Day

"Avoiding the use of French-derived words... Is not my forte."

"I walked past Winnie the Pooh's grave earlier today It read *Here Lies Winnie the Dead Shit*"

"Q. What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? A. Artificial intelligence."

"TIL NBC had a show with the entire premise being an orangutan being a political advisor They decided to call it ""late night with conan o'brien"""

"i want to take one of those cruises where people shit right there on the boat but apparently they only happen randomly as a surpris,e"

"I'm not very good with DIY. A pile of books fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame :-("

"I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour... The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2 (Original credit goes to @murrman5 on twitter)"

"What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. sorry."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later baby not."

"-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!"