208364
Joke of the Day
"I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day."
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"I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself. (Shamelessly stolen from Craig Ferguson)"
"I yelled at my wife ""Your miniskirt is way too short!!"" ""Thats because its made for a woman"" she replied ""Now take it off & give it to me"""
"A man wanted to name his son a very long name... ...so he named him Miles"
"The way I react when my alarm clock goes off can best be described as ""17-year-old girl being denied a curfew extension."""
"Moving to Africa so I can feed my kids for 18 cents a day."
"Me: Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Neighbor: If you don't stay out of my heating duct I'm calling the cops."
"What do a prostitute and a plumber have in common? They both service the john."
"Did you hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives."
"""Doctor, doctor, there's a lettuce sticking out of my bum! Is it serious?"" ""I'm sorry to tell you, that's just the tip of the iceberg."""