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Joke of the Day

"What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained? Please! I in cyst!"

"My friend really changed onced she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore"

"Why did Hitler pass out? he saw the gas bill"

"If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra."

"Just saw a pensioner do a tribute to the England team. Yep she got off the bus look abit confused and then got back on went home."

"It's Saturday! Go for a walk! Pay your bills! Take up smoking! Shave a loved one! Steal a baby!"

"75% of men dont get enough fibre in their diet.. ....tough shit"

"Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning? Because he was in deNile"

"Our local council said they are going to get all the coins out of the wishing well and put them into a balloon. Talk about getting everyone's hopes up."

"What did they call Hitler after he lost his hair? The Bald Eagle..... I'm here all day folks"