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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a pensioner do a tribute to the England team. Yep she got off the bus look abit confused and then got back on went home."

"For as long as I can remember... ...I have had memories"

"Sexy subjunctives... ... give you would."

"HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, ""Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."""

"If you're going to throw someone under the bus, make sure it's moving."

"Admiral Ackbar sez, ""drop it like..."" http://i.imgur.com/R896U.jpg"

"Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK"

"I think Lance Armstrong is missing a huge opportunity by not endorsing Uni-ball pens."

"They say pizza is like sex... Even when it's bad you can still put your dick in it."

"Dark humor is like food Only some people get it"