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Joke of the Day

"Police nearly apprehended a drug dealer selling cocaine in a tobacco store. They were close, but no cigar."

"Marriage equality AND marijuana laws passed? Now we know what Leviticus really meant by ""A man who layeth with another man must be stoned."""

"American Horror Story The Rise of Donald Trump."

"Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone."

"I wait tables with an obnoxious ex-mechanical engineer... ...he's always going on and on about the restaurant's utensil modulus."

"Cop just pulled me over, said I was going too fast. So I took him to dinner first."

"A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens."

"[Job Interview] ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close"" ""But it was quick"""

"I like my slaves like i like my cream whipped"

"Why were Kay's pets scared of Kay? because... K8 K9"