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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's like a really obscure number you have probably never heard of."

"What did the first stop light say to the second stop light? Don't look I'm changing"

"In my experience, all edible underwear just ends up being crotchless."

"Why didn't the vegan gamble at the meat raffle? Didn't want a brisket"

"WORM 911: what's ur emergency FLATWORM: I CUT MYSELF BAD WORM 911: u need medical help? FLATWORM: wait, there's 2 of me now. we're good."

"What do you call a Greek guy walking down the stairs? Con-Descending"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph not essay"

"The town emergency siren sounds. I peer out my bedroom window. ""It can't be"" I mutter. ""Honey, grab the kids. Hot local singles are coming."""

"My mom yelled at me when I said I have never used a condom. Then I told her it was because I'm a virgin at 24 years old. So, my dad yelled at me instead."

"My dvd got a scratch... so i used sandpaper to smooth it out"