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Joke of the Day
"Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted."
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"Being a FEMALE is a matter of BIRTH, being a WOMAN is a matter of AGE, but being a LADY is a matter of CHOICE..."
"A young lady who had just been dumped by her boyfriend seemed unusually cheerful. Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or later, time wounds all heels."
"The only thing worse than watching a TED Talk is doing it on Netflix so your TV thinks you like TED Talks & tries to make you watch more"
"""Why is life so hard?"" - Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter."
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Subway is healthy."
"The french word for ""unfortunately"" has 15 letters The english word for unfortunately has 13, but it's two short EDIT: For the curious, the french word is ""malheureusement"""
"Air Asia Accident - java reference So some remains of the Air Asia Airline were found in the Java sea. Guess the pilot didnt C#."
"From a Christmas Cracker: What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper? Ruff"
"Why did the vampire go to the doctors? Because he was coffin..."