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Joke of the Day

"The only thing worse than watching a TED Talk is doing it on Netflix so your TV thinks you like TED Talks & tries to make you watch more"

"Police Officer and the Pothead Police Officer: ""How high are you?"" Pothead: ""No officer, it's ""Hi, How are you?"""

"Where does a catholic cat go when it dies? Purrrgatory."

"Build a man a fire and he will be warm for one day Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

"How do you find the click bait audience?"

"Cole Wagner's new sports nickname is Jared Fogle. Because he just fucked nine twelve year-olds from Missouri"

"What kind of cake did Noah enjoy? Mabul cake."

"[school teacher job interview] Can I ask you some questions? I don't know CAN you? haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!"

"Does ""fear of commitment"" count towards a handicap parking space??"

"How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff? We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box."