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Joke of the Day

"""If I had a bookstore I'd make the mystery section really hard to find."""

"Why is Michael Jordan's Jersey number 23? Because then he will always be in prime."

"I only date Chinese women... They are used to seeing tons of red flags"

"Famous last words (silence)"

"Q: What do you say to an alien with two heads? A: Hello. Hello."

"MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad"

"I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury."

"I'll tell you what i know about dwarves Very little. Its okay, i can say that. They look up to me."

"when the ice cream man drives down my street I walk alongside him screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU I WILL BEAR YOU MANY STRONG SONS"

"Two silkworms had a race... I heard they ended in a tie."